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There have been so many incidents… but all right. I will recall one for you. It was during the time when I did not know my true identity… when I was Amber. I was on Tatooine, searching for the Star Map – and shortly after arriving in Anchorhead, I ran into a Sith attack squad. They were assassins, sent out by Malak to kill me, and they certainly were not the first we had met. I remember standing there, on that lonely, dust-swept street, the heat of the sun on my face, and staring at those three assassins standing ready for battle, whilst Canderous lurked at my side. It was fortuitous that I had brought him – and only him – along with me. Considering how things were playing out at the time, I doubt matters would have been helped if Carth had been there. Or Bastila, even. One of the assassins said something. I am sure it was meant to be relevant. I do not actually remember his words, but I do remember being deeply unimpressed. "Try me," I said, lightsaber drawn, "come on. Give it your best shot." "Want me to kill 'em, boss?" Canderous asked, in one of his low, level, seriously dangerous voices. He only ever called me that when he was trying to show off, but it was a genuine sign of loyalty and I always appreciated it. Always appreciated him. That would be why he is still alive. "No," I replied. "I am sure their own ineptitude will do that for us." This did not go down too well with the assassins, and they charged, their own lightsabers blazing. Now, by this time my connection to the Force was growing ever-stronger, and as the assassins came towards me, I acted almost without thinking. We exchanged blows, but within seconds, one of them was on the ground, dead. The other two, meanwhile, paused. "Afraid?" I taunted. "A pair of trained Sith assassins like you?" "Never!" one of them hissed, from beneath his hood. "Then come on!" I said, a smirk crossing my face. "At least give me a challenge!" They charged again, trying a fairly standard pincer-attack. But it was still far from difficult to respond to. I dodged, swung, and sent a second of them reeling to the ground, a cloud of dust dancing into the air as he fell. Canderous was leaning on a wall, now, watching with the kind of lazy, amused interest that I have always loved about people like him. He flashed an almost cheery smile at the remaining assassin, as the man rounded for another attack. The Force was resonating with worry by that point. It was incredible. "Two down," I said. "And I bet the only reason you are still standing is that you were too weak to attack first. But now… you are on your own." "I am not afraid of you!" the assassin threw back. And he charged. I remember swiping him almost idly with my lightsaber, watching him tumble, dropping to his knees as the fatal blow struck his chest. He looked up at me. I grinned. "I said you could not manage this," I told him, matter-of-factly. "I was right." The assassin fell, lying dead beside his former comrades. Idly, I glanced over at Canderous. "That was fun," I said, offhand. "Yes, it was," he replied, smirking a little. Together, we went deeper into the settlement – and interestingly, within moments, I had reacquired HK-47. No wonder he liked me straight away. Tags: challenge response I Feel: devious
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Revan remembers a great deal from her days as Amber – most of it real, although some of it surely nothing more than the product of her false memories. And among the memories that she knows are genuine, there is indeed one in which she realised she was not alone. Ironically, it's one of the few she might actually admit to. It was during the siege of the Endar Spire over Taris, the event that began Amber's long, slow spiral back to becoming Revan. The ship – Bastila's ship – was under attack by Sith forces, and most of the crew was either dead or fleeing to the surface in escape pods. Amber, as she then was, found herself fighting through the Sith boarders, trying to escape just like everyone else. A young Republic soldier fought at her side, a man named Trask Ulgo – until they ran into someone highly unexpected. It was a Sith Lord, who later turned out to be Darth Bandon, apprentice to Malak, and leader of the assault on the Endar Spire. Without hesitation, Trask told Amber to go on alone, whilst he went to fight Bandon. Amber never saw Trask again. And with him gone, there was no one with her, no one to fight at her side. She stood alone, cutting down the last enemies in her path, and then..? Amber met Carth. She'd heard him over the comm a few times, but this was the first moment they met. Carth Onasi, an accomplished Republic soldier, and veteran of the Mandalorian War, stood waiting in the escape pod launch bay, gun in hand, looking very, very alert. They exchanged few words, clambering into the escape pod and launching as fast as they could. Moments later, staring out of the pod's tiny window as they hurtled towards the Tarisian atmosphere, they saw the Endar Spire explode into a brilliant fireball, torn in two by the constant onslaught of laser fire from the lead Sith ship… the Leviathan. It wasn't long before the pod hit the surface, and Amber was knocked unconscious in the process. When she woke up, it was to find a cool, quiet room – and Carth Onasi sitting a few feet away, gun on his knees, watching her with careful concern. He had pulled her out of the pod, carried her there, and stayed with her until she came to. He had defended her, protected her, watched her until Amber awoke at last, awash in a complex medley of events, but sure at last of only one thing: She wasn't alone anymore. Tags: challenge response I Feel: lonely
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[somewhat belatedly continued from here] Contruum has fallen under their onslaught - the alliance of Darth Revan, and Anakin Skywalker. Her apprentice. Even now, saying that still leaves Revan feeling triumphant beyond words. Though she's starting to feel that the man needs a proper Sith title, and 'Darth Anakin' really does not have the right ring to it. Hmmm. In the meantime, she paces the corridors of Anakin's ship for a while, enjoying the concerned looks she tends to get when people pass her; that moment of worry that they might be about to go head-first through a window. Eventually, she arrives at an observation bay, staring out at the dust-wreathed wreck of Contruum - their first step along a truly exciting road. Oh. Who said playing with time was a bad idea?! Revan wonders what they should do next - or, more bluntly, who they ought to kill. This time is somewhat ahead of her own, and therefore very different, but now she wonders if Dantooine is still around. Annexing that particular world never gets dull... Tags: meta I Feel: accomplished
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It is a strange Earth-word. My investigations into its meaning quickly yielded a clear result, however – 'karma' is connected to a sense of fate or destiny, and to a perception of the aura of a place or situation. Interesting. To me, that sounds much like the Force, at least in a very basic way. The Force guides us all, rules us all, sits at our fingertips with infinite possibilities to lead us down any path… and yet, it knows already which we will take. It knows what we are destined to be. Do I believe in destiny? How could I not? I have looked into the eyes of so many and seen what they can become – what they will become. I have seen it in my own eyes. I knew, long ago, that I was meant to be more than a Jedi, more than a war leader, more than a follower of a false road. I knew I was destined for this: to stand at the helm of a magnificent, endless fleet in a great drive to show the galaxy one truth: Things are destined to change. The Dark Side is destined to endure forever. I know it. I can feel it in the air every time I enter battle. I can sense it in the hearts and minds of all who have embraced the truth. The galaxy cannot be under the thumb of the Jedi forever. We will know power again. How is that for karma? *smirk* Tags: challenge response I Feel: contemplative
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Revan, They are lying to you. They are holding you back. Everything they tell you is twisting your potential into something pathetic, something they can control, something they can use for their own gains. But you must stay with them. You must watch them, learn how they think. Your time will come, I swear it. One day, you will rise up. Everything you dreamed of being, you will be. That, and so much more. I know it is hard to face all this at so young an age, yet I also know you are capable of it. And… although it will be a long time before this advice truly applies, be aware of Malak. Do all you can not to drive him away. I understand that you do not yet know why I am so adamant about this, but you must listen to me. No matter what it takes… do not drive him away. Do not give him reason to betray you, to leave you, to walk his own path. Because when he does, no victory, no rebirth, no escalation in power of any kind will be enough. You may be able to win back everything else, but once gone, he is lost. Forever. Tags: challenge response I Feel: contemplative
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 Revan closes her eyes. And then – in her mind, at least – she sees the edge of a harbour. Brilliant white mist dances over the water, which itself glitters in the light of the hazy sun. Low, slow, steady creaking sounds rise gently into the air as the little boats bob quietly, lazily, their daily labours not yet begun. Nearby, a woman watches them, that same light sparkling in her eyes, the gentle breeze rustling at her pale tunic. All is calm, all is peaceful, all is a picture of tranquillity and bliss and waiting potential. It's beautiful, to see all of this before Deralia's people awake, before the harbour is filled with fishing boats and visitors, drifting around the planet's capital city with their own aims in mind. The planet is isolated, quiet, a place rarely touched by the events of the great big galaxy beyond. Here, people worry little and live slowly. The woman watches, but all of a sudden, there is sadness in her expression. The view before her is clearly one to inspire great joy, yet something about it also brings pain. She has to go. That same great big galaxy beyond is calling – drawing her out to a life among the stars, and she must answer. Must journey. Must discover. And must not forget that, in her heart, the sunlight will always sparkle on the water, the mist will drift on the edge of a city close to waking. And she can come back. Everything will still be here. Some aspects of life remain comfortingly constant. When she returns, the boats will still bob and the water will ripple on beside them. But this never happened. It is nothing but an echo of a false life, a story made up to hide the truth. Maybe the boats are there anyway. Maybe they never existed. Peace is a lie. Revan opens her eyes. Tags: challenge response I Feel: contemplative
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Control.Such a word. So much hangs on it. So many memories, echoes, grudges and victories. By her very nature, Revan yearns to be in control, to be the one calling the shots, making the choices. That is power, to be in command of one's own destiny, one's own path. Oh, and plenty of underlings. Revan would not want us to forget those. Revan thrives on being in control, every day of her life. When she fights, it must be on her terms. When she resorts to diplomacy, people will agree with her. There is little Revan fears. But to lose control… now that is something she truly does fear. Not that she would admit to it, of course. To admit to any weakness is to surrender some semblance of control. That is why she can't talk about these things out loud. And that is why part of her will always be locked in the battle she fought on Korriban, the battle against herself, when Sith shadow and Jedi echo met in combat to decide, once and for all, who was in control. She won, of course. That is in her nature. No submission. No surrender. No acceptance. She thinks the pain of that day, all the things she was forced to face, all the control she lost for so short a time, is bad. She doesn't want to remember, and represses, burying all the doubt, re-assuring herself that it only happened because of what Obi-Wan did whilst she was distracted by Anakin. She doesn't really understand what losing control is. Not whilst she refuses to accept the person she was. Not whilst the most critical memories are buried under so much hate and triumph. Not whilst she dwells only on her rebirth and forgets who she was. Who she was. What she did. She can forget. I can't. My name is Amber, and I lost control. Tags: amber, challenge response I Feel: crushed
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The sands of Korriban swirled, twisting and rising, an eternal breath racked with a pain it could not put into words. High above, a bright and relentless sun blazed down on that world, unforgiving, swirling through the thick air. The Valley of the Dark Lords stood empty now; all those who might usually be here had been ordered to stay away. Half-dug trenches, swept by the dust of ages, gave up no secrets this day, and none watched them but the stone faces of those who were long gone. Nothing was happening here. Not on the surface. Not where so many could see. But beneath… in a long-forgotten cavern, something was happening – something that would never be spoken of, never be admitted to, never be heralded. Something that had never happened before. Darth Revan was attending the funeral of someone she had killed. Normally, of course, the Dark Lady of the Sith would not do anything of the kind. Why mourn for someone if you meant to kill them? Why notice? It was different in this situation, though Revan didn't want to admit it. It was different because it was him - Malak. Her former apprentice, former lover, former ally. Former, former, former. All that was in the past. Why did she care? Only days earlier, on the central deck of the once-legendary Star Forge, Revan and Malak had leapt into their final battle, the one destined to decide who was the greater, the stronger. And Revan had won. She had proven, once and for all, why she had been the Master, why Malak had been foolish to desert her. In the end, he had become nothing but another enemy, another foe to be struck down. Yet, here she was, standing in the ancient cavern which had been quickly converted into a tomb – just one of so many that lay dotted around the Valley. One more among hundreds, soon to lie silent and untouched, naught but an echo for the rest of eternity. Two lone flaming torches burned at the entryway to the single central chamber, their light flickering violently on the rough walls – and between them, she walked, carrying a body wrapped all in black, marked at the head with the emblem of the Sith. Slow, steady, her footfalls echoed on the ground, eerily rhythmic, as Revan approached the open sarcophagus; the place where Malak was destined to lie forever. It felt so… odd. She hated him. Hated what he had done to her, hated what he had twisted their dreams into, hated how close to destruction he had led her. To a Sith, such hatred is mere breath. And even considering the circumstances, Revan could fast feel her hatred becoming background noise, like it usually was – as regular as her heartbeat. Nothing more. And when Revan truly saw beyond it, she saw the things that could never be said, the emotions drowned out by all the hate, the feelings swamped in shadow. He had been her life for so long. When she embraced the Dark Side, her first desire was not to kill, or to conquer, but to find him, to show him how wonderful it was. They had travelled a galaxy together, brought so much of that galaxy crashing to its knees, returned the Sith to a level of power not felt for a great deal of time. She had loved him – loved him so much that she tried to re-interpret what it was to be a Sith. She had tried to understand why Master and Apprentice were not supposed to be involved – why a philosophy that embraced freedom, that embraced admission of one's true emotions, could deny the possibility of that fundamental connection. Revan laid the body in its place, stepping back, breaking contact for the last time. Around her, there was silence; no sound but the rippling of the flaming torches at the entrance, yet Revan's mind would not quieten. Part of her cried out in victory, and part cried out in utter defeat – because she had lost him, and nothing could bring him back. In truth, Revan knew she needed to forgive Malak, if only in the silence of this place; to forgive him for placing the ways of the Sith above everything else, for seeing all their arguments as reason to strike out on his own. As a true Sith should. She needed to forgive him, needed to let go of all this, needed to be free of regret so as to remain completely focused. She had won back her power, and now was the time to use it. But she couldn't forgive him. He had betrayed her, betrayed all their promises, all their hopes of being something different. There could be no forgiveness. None at all. For either of them. Tags: challenge response I Feel: crushed
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Most people wish that I was dead. Most people wish that I had fallen to Malak, because he was not quite so 'bad.' Most people wish that I had stayed in the Outer Rim, and never come back. Most people wish that I would leave their pathetic little planets alone. Most people wish that I had been stopped by the Jedi Council whilst they still had the power to do so. Most people wish that I would buy into all those Jedi lies. Most people wish that I had not fooled them so easily. Most people wish that I had listened to Bastila before she fell, to Carth before he fled, to Zhar before he disappeared. Most people wish that I had lost to Amber in the duel – or they would, if they knew about it. …Most people wish that I was her. *long, slow smirk* But I am not 'most people.' And, believe me, this is all that matters. Because most people do not understand. Tags: challenge response I Feel: predatory
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[OOC: As before, this is written in third person, because Revan is not in the mood to talk about it.]She remembers the day so clearly now, though it was a memory she had to fight particularly hard for; one her mind did not want her to have back. The reasons for this are evident, however, when one considers exactly how central to Revan's current existence that day was. And she can recall it completely now. She remembers standing on the bridge of her own ship, clad in full black, lightsaber in her hand, watching three Jedi approach. Two of them were nobodies, merely accomplices in a mission that they deserved to die for. But the third… ah, the third had potential. As they fought, Revan could feel the fire deep within the heart of that Jedi… Bastila. She knew that, with proper instruction, the young woman could go a long way as a Sith. The euphoria of that battle hangs at the edge of memory. At the time, she had expected it to be a day she remembered as glorious, a day she fought off a cowardly Jedi ambush and proved to them just how helpless they were against her power. She was almost right. Almost. For Revan had failed to factor one thing into her calculations… Malak. And the moment of his betrayal, the moment Revan's life was altered forever… that is a moment that hangs heavy in her mind. Betrayal. It is something every Sith must face. Revan knows that. Revan knew that. But she never expected it to come from him… from the one person she felt she could trust. Revan has always liked to think of herself as the sort who doesn't make mistakes. Yet her life is marked by the biggest mistake of all – believing that she could re-interpret what it is to be a Sith. Believing that it was possible for two Sith to be together. Believing that *that* would change things. All Sith know that, eventually, they will be cut down by someone superior. Every Sith desires to prevent this, of course – but also accepts that it will happen. That is the way things are. The strongest rule, and the weaker perish. The trick is to remain strongest. Revan thought Malak could see beyond that… but then, not even she could. Despite her belief that he would value their bond above becoming Dark Lord of the Sith, she still wanted, above all else, to be the strongest. And in the end, it was the wedge that drove them apart. In the end, it led him to search for his opportunity. In the end, it led him to stand on the bridge of his own ship, and give the order to fire on the ship of his Master and lover, to watch as vivid red coursed through space and impacted on the ship's hull. He timed his attack so well. Just as Revan was squaring up to attack Bastila again, the laser fire hit. The bridge exploded, and Revan felt darkness seep in like never before. She wasn't afraid to die. But every fibre of her being wanted to die in battle… not like this. If she was to be betrayed, it was to be properly, as a true Sith should. Her greatest betrayal was not his decision to leave her, but his decision to do it from afar, to not look her in the eyes and tell her why. He never told her why. And that hurts more than anything. I Feel: discontent
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…Uthar Wynn, I remember thinking that this was what a Sith Master should look like. We were on Korriban at the time, during that period when I did not know who I was – but, nevertheless, our journey had led us straight to the Sith. I remember standing in the central chamber of the Academy, along with the other trainees. At the time, my objective was simply to find the Star Map located on the planet, and getting into the Academy was, supposedly, a means to that end. Not to me. To me… it was also discovery. By then, I had once again felt the touch of the Dark Side. I was intrigued. I wanted to know more. I needed to know more. In many ways, Uthar Wynn was central to what happened to me on Korriban. It was his words, his influence – yes, even his teachings – that inspired me to learn more of the Dark Side. It was he who helped me discover again what I had once known. That first time I saw him, clad in the grey Academy uniform, I wondered at once if he had known the mysterious Sith Lord 'Revan,' who, at that time, I had no idea I really was. I wondered if he had stood at her side, sweeping across the galaxy, tasting all that wonderful power. He had not. But even then, I knew he wanted to. I looked into his eyes, and I could see what lay within. I think he knew that. To this day, I do not know if he knew who I was. Even if he did not, he knew I was different. He was able to see what so many could not. And he was able to show me just enough of the bigger picture for me to develop a need to find all the pieces. I had a chance to kill him, once. I did not take it. There are very, very few people about whom I can say that. To this day, I still would not, unless he betrayed me. Even less people can claim that honour. I Feel: thoughtful
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[OOC: This has been some time in the writing, due to the fact that neither of these two would stop talking at me! (And, yes, because I kept stopping, and had connection problems, and so on.) At last, I offer the conclusion to the current storyline, dealing with what happened after Obi-Wan and Anakin got away from Revan on Korriban. Apologies for the formatting - I'm currently plagued by an error that prevents me from posting any LJ entry longer than a few hundred words either in Semagic or the main update page. I can only do it by email, which means the text gets wrapped. This is extremely annoying.
Also, yes, this got posted earlier. I'm reposting because I think I've worked out a way to at least make it look a bit more readable. If it ends up looking the same... sorry for the spamming. I'd delete the other one... but I can't. If you happen to know what might be causing this, do drop me a line! I'll be eternally grateful!]
[OOC: EDIT - I don't know how, but the problem appears to have resolved. This may or may not last. I have used the opportunity to get this post re-formatted, to make it more readable, and to delete the duplicate post.]Revan has been... occupied of late. It all began when she abducted one Obi-Wan Kenobi. After putting him through hell, and getting a taste of her own personal hell in return, Revan arrived at Korriban, where a battle broke out between her and Anakin Skywalker. It was all going so well, and Anakin was so close to accepting the power that Revan longed to show him. But Kenobi had to interfere. And now, Revan's most dangerous battle is about to begin... a battle against the one enemy she has never defeated. Herself.( The heat of Korriban is nothing to the fire inside... [Cut For Length] )I Feel: angry
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Lashowe seemed somewhat upset to have been double-crossed. Staring her down, in the Valley of the Dark Lords on Korriban, the woman currently known as Amber let a smile cross her own face. "Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory…" she recited to her opponent. Something about those words seemed so familiar, so very real, as if she had heard them long ago. And Lashowe, one of the other potential Sith trainees, charged, raising her red-bladed lightsaber, fully intent on cutting down Amber and thus impressing Master Uthar enough to get him to accept her for training. Amber, however, had other ideas. The Force that flowed within her felt stronger every day, as if it was re-discovering old pathways where once it had travelled, like a river returning to its bed after a long drought. She didn't even realise what she was doing, didn't realise how deep Korriban's Dark power was reaching, didn't realise what was driving her to react in a way she had never planned. Amber did not draw her lightsaber. She raised her hand, and in an incredible instant, a blaze of brilliant, bright blue lightning sparked from her fingertips, enveloping Lashowe in a wave of energy. The other woman halted in mid-step, howling in pain, trying to throw the attack off… but she could not. And instead of pulling back, Amber kept firing, kept shooting that haze of blue directly into her opponent. The screaming echoed and echoed until, finally, Lashowe collapsed, her last breaths lost to the sudden breeze. Still standing in the same spot, Amber gasped, finally drawing air again, staring at her hand as if it were a strange and separate entity, amazed by what had just happened. Nothing in her life had ever felt like that. For days after, bright blue filled her dreams, drawing her deeper and deeper in, enticing her with its brilliance, reminding her how easy it was to use such power again. ****** When she looks back on that day, Revan cannot help but be glad that Carth wasn't there at the time. I Feel: accomplished
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You know, sentient life is defined in many ways by memories. Our memories hold the keys to who we are, the echoes of what we have done, the people we have known, the places we have seen – and, of course, the things we have achieved. This question might lead most of you to think it quite horrific to be deprived of all but one memory – and for once, you are entirely right. To be stripped of your memories is to be stripped of who you are; everything you did, everything you accomplished – all of it, lost to the mists of time. But this is where we differ: to you, this is a question asking which moment in your life you treasure the memory of above all else, which thing you most desperately wish to remember. You know it is only a question, seeking some kind of meaningful introspection, some calm discussion of which event in your life has been most important, or which best sums you up. The actual concept of losing everything you are does not occur to you. It does, however, occur to me – because it happened to me. When I was captured by the Jedi, they took everything that I was. They did not leave me one, special, meaningful memory. They took it all. And when I finally won back the knowledge of who I am, it took me a great deal of time and effort to drag back those stolen memories – such that it was several days before I realised that I had spent over three years sleeping with the man I was now trying to kill. Nevertheless, I will give you an answer to this question. If I could remember only one thing, it would be the day I stood in that corridor on the Leviathan, staring into Malak's cold and empty eyes, and realised, at last, that I was not some foolish trainee Jedi named Amber, but the Dark Lord Revan, alive, and re-empowered. I would remember the surge of potential that coursed through my soul as I finally learned who I am. I would remember that because, without it, there would be nothing else. I Feel: contemplative
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Revan is tired. After her first ' conversation' with Obi-Wan Kenobi, she returns to her own quarters aboard the Ebon Hawk, meditating until she's too exhausted to carry on. She let him get too close, and she knows it. What's more, she actually felt him and... and her... connect. Not only does the blasted Jedi know about... Amber... but he managed to find her, too. In the end, Revan goes to sleep, because the alternatives involve dropping out of hyperspace, picking the nearest planet, and going on a killing spree. Which, whilst fun, would not help The Plan. In the darkness of her quarters, the last candle extinguished, Revan slowly drifts into the temporary mental oblivion that is sleep. She hates it. There is no time when one is in more danger than when one is sleeping. If she had been thinking more clearly, she probably wouldn't have let herself do this. She probably would have kept herself awake, just to guarantee being in control. But she doesn't. Revan sleeps. And after what has just happened, this becomes one of those rare opportunities when Amber wakes up... Over in the darkened storage room where Obi-Wan is locked, the air ripples. There's no flash of light, nothing dramatic, just a slow, steady shift in reality... and then a woman is standing over him. She looks, in every way, like Revan - save for three slight factors, none of which will be particularly obvious in this light. The first is the colour of her robes - Revan would *never* wear anything that brown. The second, is her lightsaber, which hangs at her side. It is clearly a single-blader, not the dual-blader that Revan favours. The most important difference, though, is her eyes. Revan's eyes do not look like that. Calmly, though more than a little confused, Amber stares around, finally resting her gaze on the crouched form of Obi-Wan, and trying to make sense of everything. I Feel: tired
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